Matthew has been visiting his wife Catherine three times a week by seeing her through a window (Image: BPM)
Matthew Nicholson, 82, has been visiting his wife Catherine, 81, three times a week by seeing her through a window at her care home in Wootton Wawen, Warwickshire, since April. The couple will have been married 63 years today. But two-weeks ago new managers at MHA Cedar Lodge told him he was forbidden from going to the care home to wave at Mrs Nicholson through her window.
This was because he lives in Hockley Heath in Solihull, West Midlands, which is currently under a local lockdown.
This is despite the former school caretaker having regular ‘window visits’ through the pandemic regardless of where he lived.
The great-grandfather-of-18 has since moved in with his daughter in Worcester so he is out of the restriction zone.
But new managers at MHA Cedar Lodge, a specialist nursing and dementia care home, have stuck by their decision and are waiting on advice from public health officials.
Mr Nicholson’s daughter, Cat Snelling, has described the situation as ‘heartbreaking’ and the whole family is upset.
Mrs Snelling, 53, said: “I know we have to protect everybody, but how can you keep a pub open and I could go there and see my dad, but he can’t go and look at my mum through a window up the road?
Matthew and Catherine have been married for 63 years (Image: BPM)
“It’s so difficult for him. We wouldn’t be pushing this if it was a face-to-face garden visit.
“But the fact he’s been doing it for so long when the window is shut, he doesn’t touch her, doesn’t breathe on her and doesn’t kiss her.
“There’s no infection that can get through glass and a brick wall.
“He’s absolutely devastated and not stopped crying today.
“I just can’t understand why this is the case. It’s heartbreaking and nobody is listening. My mum has dementia and regular contact is important for her memory.”
Jayne Connery, founder of the Care Campaign For The Vulnerable, was scathing in her criticism of care homes who are ‘shutting up shop’.
The couple when they were younger (Image: BPM)
She said: “While many care providers are compassionate and understand the need to maintain family contact, it’s evident a minority are “shutting up shop“ regardless of the negative impact this has on vulnerable residents.
“Families and residents understand the Covid risk and have accepted many restrictions such as a lack of face-to-face visits with no-touching rules.
“But to say there’s a risk of the virus spreading through glass and brick is a step too far.
“Yet many families are telling us that window visits have been stopped.
“Elderly care homes residents have been denied the right to a family life throughout the pandemic.”
Mrs Snelling, who is one of the couple’s six children, said she fears the forced separation is having a “damaging impact” on her dad’s mental health.
Catherine has dementia and regular contact is important for her memory (Image: BPM)
Explaining how the window visits had worked, she said: “The home had arranged window visits, which basically allows families to park near the front garden so you’re not going on the premises, and the window is shut.
“They would wheel my mother into the window so there was no touching. That’s been going well for them and he’s managed three 10-minute visits a week.
“He’s coped and it’s kept him going and he knows she’s safe as it’s through a window. But that stopped when a new manager came in.
“My dad lives on his own. He wouldn’t risk anything anyway. There is just an unwillingness to support my mum and my dad.
“When they are together you can just see her little face. She’s in her last year of life and it’s their anniversary on Friday.”
Jan Shortt, general secretary of the National Pensioners’ Convention said: “The physical, mental and emotional health of people in isolation is at risk and this can potentially lead to deaths that are avoidable with a little imagination.
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“For many of those in care homes, there is no one to look out for them, so visitors of any kind can be an uplifting experience.
“Even a visit with a window between parties is something and it doesn’t cost any money.”
The care home said it was waiting for public health advice locally before resuming window visits.
A spokesperson for Methodist Homes (MHA), which runs the care home, said: “We appreciate the distress the current situation is causing to the family in not being able to visit at present.
“As a care provider, we have to put the needs and safety of the residents we care for at the forefront of everything we do and all decisions are made with this in mind.
“We have to adhere to both Government guidance and advice from the local director of public health and this is continually changing as the situation changes.
“We are now awaiting advice from public health locally on whether or not we are able to resume the window visits at MHA Cedar Lodge for the family and hope to have a decision shortly.”
