Don’t Be a Victim of Divorce Regret: Answer These 7 Questions Honestly Before You Go To Court

If your marriage is in trouble, the new year is the perfect time to assess the state of your union. Some people vow to make their marriages better. Others are debating whether to leave or to stay.

Ending a marriage can be intimidating. But it doesn’t have to be, says Sonia Frontera, a collaborative divorce attorney, empowerment trainer and author of Relations Solutions.

“All couples have their ups and downs, and many can be weathered with love and a commitment to work things out. Filing for divorce is a life-altering decision that should be made carefully and not in haste.”

Before you head to your lawyer’s office, Frontera recommends doing emotional inventory and sorting through your marital dynamics to determine whether your marriage can be saved or if it is time to move on.

Frontera offers seven queries to walk you through the process, gain clarity and help you make the divorce decision with confidence.

1.     Do you still love your partner?
If you no longer love your spouse, it is more humane to get a divorce, so both partners can rebuild their lives and be happy, although separately. If the love is still there, however, investing in the relationship can pay off and spare you from heartache and regret.

2.     What do you need to be happy in a relationship and can you provide it to one another?
You may not be happy right now, but your marriage can improve if both parties are willing and able to work on it. Understanding your needs and communicating them to your spouse is the first step. Committing to a joint action plan is instrumental.

3.     Are your spouse’s behaviors offensive to any reasonable person or just to you?
Ponder whether most people find the behaviors that drive you crazy offensive or if they are just your personal pet peeves.

4.     Are your spouse’s annoying behaviors mindless, reckless or intended to upset you?
Evaluate whether you are vexed by thoughtless behaviors that can be corrected or if your spouse is hurting you intentionally.

5.     Do you contribute to relationship strife?
Pay attention to your words and actions and how they affect your relationship and test a new approach.

6.     Would you be happier alone?
You deserve happiness. You are not doing yourself or your spouse any favors by staying in a relationship that makes you miserably unhappy.

7.     Are you afraid that, if you leave, you will regret it later?
If you are worried that you will be sorry you divorced, give your relationship one last chance.

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